Nov. 20th, 2011 11:15 am
bronzechimera: (Default)
[personal profile] bronzechimera
I'm really proud of myself right now.  Currently, I've written 32,268 words for my NaNoWriMo novel, The Ballet.  Since freshman year, writing has been difficult for me.  In September 2008, I wrote maybe 30 pages worth of material for Prologue, the prequel to Dark Side of the Moon.  Back then it was known as Our Blood.  After I finished those 30 pages, I deleted them and completely changed the story.  I beat my creativity into submission and barely managed to string words together, but whatever managed to get past my self-critical filter was gorgeous work.

When I started freshman year, my writing was laughable.  By sophomore year I had begun to develop a style.  Some of my most heartfelt, beautiful work came from those two years.  Junior year, I focused almost exclusively on my journals.  For me, that year was more about recording my personal story and making sense of the lessons that taught me, rather than fabricating lessons to teach other people through fiction.  There's a nice cliché that says the truth is stranger than it.

Now when I look back on junior year, I wish I'd done more than revise my poem Grey Manticore (written freshman year) and keep journals.  I wrote snippets of things, mostly passive-aggressive Facebook statuses, but they were beautiful.  All the emotional struggles that I felt junior year could have been channeled into amazing work, but instead I wasted it.

"These are only temporary disappointments.  You're not the end of me, or the beginning, but my small reminder to keep marching on.  Then I know I'll find what I'm looking for." 1/18/11

"She was more beautiful than the rest, and an eager heart beneath her breast burned to love." 8/8/10

Probably the most profound thing I wrote all year was a question: "So why should this be any different?  Or why should you?"  Clearly I didn't get around much when it came to poetry.  

This year is really special to me because finally, I'm able to articulate my thoughts and write.  Before, I could write beautiful things in small quantities.  Now that I've come so far with the quality of my writing, it's time to work on the quantity of it.  I'm really proud of myself for all the progress that I've made, and my newfound ability to stop meticulously editing every sentence as I go.  Hopefully this is a turning point for my work, and that it will only continue to improve from here.  After I finish NaNoWriMo, my next goal is to use this draft to intricately create profiles of my characters and the plot of the story.  I'd like to have a completed second draft by this time next year. ;)

November 2012


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